peace of mind or something

Sunday, September 30, 2018

By Tamika Whitenack

I think my life is like a waterfall, perhaps. I'm trying to think of something that is in constant motion but also idyllic and beautiful.

I'm feeling very content in this moment. I feel like I just talk about how happy I am a lot of the time, but I genuinely feel great right now, and moreso than I have the past two weekends. I shall attempt to explain various factors contributing to my peace of mind and blissful existence.

After a couple of super busy weekends, I finally had a weekend to myself! This was the first weekend where I really had extended periods of time to just sit and do work, and I really like doing work in big sessions like this. It enhances my productivity and allows me to get in a good flow and feel comfortable that I have my life under control. I had two papers and a lab report to write this weekend, and I felt really good while I was writing them, it was definitely a productivity flow as opposed to a forced "let's get words on the page." The only downside is that this flow has led me to be over word count, so I'll need to work on that. Also, one of these papers was in Spanish which was kind of intimidating me but I did it and I don't think its trash! I'm applying the island theory of "sea of islands" to ecosystem-based solutions to climate change on islands. LMK if you want to read the paper, but heads up, it is in Spanish.

My productivity groove this week has been all about pursuing a lifestyle of balance. I feel like I'm settling into the tips and tricks needed to maximize productivity while maintaining happiness. Keys for me are planning ahead, prioritizing the things that are making me the most anxious, knowing when to say no to social studying (sometimes studying with others works for me, but sometimes it really doesn't), matching the task that needs to happen with the most appropriate window of time, being vigilant about technology use, and informed multitasking (one of my new favorites is reading while on the stationary bike).

A note about productivity and it's relations to capitalism, and how I hope that I am not commodifying my labor. I talk a lot about how much I enjoy being productive and efficient, and it strikes me that this sounds a little bit like the whole "cogs in the machine" notion of changing the mode of production to maximize yield and profit. Yikes! I really do not like to think of myself as the embodiment of capitalism! I will argue that I actually present an alternative because my productivity is not driven from a need for profit and results, but from a genuine love of getting stuff done! I find it energizing and rewarding, so I definitely don't suffer from alienation and dehumanization. On the contrary, floating through life in my productivity bubble feels like self-realization of my highest potential and is empowering. Therefore I am not feeding into capitalist culture. Yes?

More reasons for good vibes:

Running has been a dream. My weekly schedule is working out smoothly, and I'm getting about 40 miles in my six days. I feel strong, I feel fast-ish, and overall it's been quite satisfying and starts off my days in a good way. Sets me up for success! I'm exploring new places and old places, and incorporating sprints more. Pilates and yoga keep me grounded, I should try to swim more but the pool hours are funky. I honestly think this great running situation is contributing to my good mental health and productivity, this is definitely the most fulfilled and excited I've felt about running since being at Vassar. I'm thrilled by this, because I was a little worried that I had lost touch with running as a source of sheer joy. Fear not, running is accompanied by smiling for me! Also, the weather has been ideal (with the exception of some rainy days) for running, cool but not in need of jacket weather. Fantastic! And the trees are a good aesthetic.

Broccoli, and vegetables in general, keep me going. I just love them and the deece has been having broccoli a lot more frequently than last year. I ate like 4 big bowls the other day, it was a little bit excessive. Even though I eat the same things all the time, I feel like I eat really healthy when I'm here because I'm so in control of everything and there's just not five thousand tempting desserts lying around. This eating style makes me feel good, and I want to figure out how to keep it up at home while still enjoying the privileges of more food options.

Life is exciting! I'm starting the process of declaring my Environmental Studies major and looking into study abroad programs! I'm somewhat in the early stages of this, so I'll elaborate more later, but it's cool to feel like big things are coming in my life.

I am really enjoying spending time with friends and meeting new people. My social comfort this semester is just so much greater than first semester freshman year, and I appreciate it a lot. I have people who I can consistently count on for hanging out and chatting and happy coexistence, and I also feel like I'm getting to know a lot of new people better (including first-years, how fun!). Also, I'm loving doing work with Poughkeepsie Farm Project, which provides a good variety of people not my age (ie adults and little kids). I'll devote a whole post to PFP some time, but I'm very grateful that I'm getting to have this experience.

So yes, that is what's up with me right now! Next weekend is busy – Fall Fest, Hudson Valley Chinese Community Autumn Festival dinner, and ALANA Fest, so you probably won't hear from me again until my October break (the following week). Time is flying!